Week In Deadspin: Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

• We spring forth from the Gawker Media womb, all colicky and cranky and looking like Don Zimmer. • Just $25,000 to have Stuart Scott spew catchphrases at your corporate retreat. • Larry King, baby. It's all about Larry King. • The Saints owner could end up being a real dick about this whole thing. • We'll say it again: Someone please send us a copy of Jose Canseco's audition tape. • When you drunkenly bump into Shaq's wife, it's definitely time to go home. • Jerry Rice deep-tissue massages his way into the sunset. • MLB says you will pay them, and you will like it. • Careful: Making jokes about Don King can get you killed. No, seriously. • We spend hours and hours playing with Yard Work while pretending we're not just staring at Jose Lima's wife's breasts.

Enjoy your weekend. Anybody busy Sunday?