Bill Simmons is finally back from his summer of basketball diary-ing and has returned to his rightful place in the Page 2 masthead. After two months of Rick Reilly's 800-word-and-a pile-of-zing! "journalism" it's nice to see Simmons manically pumping out his usual kajillion word essays for the start of the NFL season. This week's is a welcome (or unwelcome, depending how you feel about him) throwback to Simmons proper — New England homerism, a Len Bias reference, Vegas, "Swingers". Thing is— and I've noticed this for a little while — is it just me or is the Sports Gal actually leg-sweeping Simmons in the funny department? Her "rant" is once again featured in the sidebar. A sampling:
There should be a fantasy handicap that works like golf handicaps. Bill writes about sports so he should have a minus-5 handicap. Someone unemployed should be a minus-10 (BTW, I have no idea how golf handicaps work). The best example: Bill did a recent podcast with "TMR" and I didn't know who this was. Bill said it stands for "Talented Mr. Roto" and TMR's job is to follow fake sports. That's it? He should be docked like 50 points each week!!!! I just picture TMR blowing a flute and dispensing wisdom like the Pied Piper while thousands of League of Dorkers hang on his every word. And I guarantee those League of Dorkers all have girlfriends currently living in the Niagara Falls area.
She kind of employs the same hypercultural one-offs that her hubby does ("The Hills" is mentioned) but for some reason they come off more, hmm, fresh? Maybe I'm being unfair — or overly generous to the Sports Gal — but for the sake of online democracy let's push a button and vote. :