All the EPL you can handle. Remember to meet Mr. Hirshey this weekend for EPL opening weekend.
• Bonds hit his damn homer already.
• Rick Reilly ... shirtless!
• It's always fun when Irish pick up prostitutes.
• Remember to join the Deadspin Pants Party College Pick 'Em Pool.
• Duck! Jay Mohr's back!
Rats in Anaheim.
• Darius Miles, history teacher.
• ESPN 360, gone, but not noticed.
McBeam us, baby!
Buzz off, Bud.
• We broke the news, and boy howdy, our patience was rewarded.
• Tiger Woods, fired pitchman.
• Sure, Bonds' arms haven't grown. Right.
• Mariner Moose, national menace.

We're gonna be at all three Cardinals-Dodgers games this weekend, so hopefully this weekend will end as happily as it started. The great Matt Sussman is back from Ireland and in the drivers' seat this weekend, so enjoy the ride and the view. We'll see you Monday.